I need help removing her.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
