Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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