When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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