i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize