i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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