you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
