yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
