ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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