At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
