I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
