maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
