what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
