I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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