I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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