I didn't shave. On purpose
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize