Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
