what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
