Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
