She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize