Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
