omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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