She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
