What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
