the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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