Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize