I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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