Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
