I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
