My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
