Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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