Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
