Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
