10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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