it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
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I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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