i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
