god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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