Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
