really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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