I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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