i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
