ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
