Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
