Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
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We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
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My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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