I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
