her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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