i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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