i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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