i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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