Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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