Do you still have your period?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
