Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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