I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize