I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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