It's just like the Real World with babies
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
