i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
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We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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