I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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