you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
