he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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