Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
