In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
