I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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